Heart Eyes has all the hallmarks of a modern slasher classic

The Heart Eyes Killer is on the warpath (Picture: Shutterstock)

Young sweethearts beware – there’s a new killer in town, and they’re targeting the lovey-dovey and the besotted in a most vicious manner.

Dating back to Black Christmas in 1974, the holiday slasher film is a staple of the genre, with various masked madmen popping up over the years to ruin every major event from April’s Fools Day (1986) to Thanksgiving (2023) and Halloween (take your pick).

February 14th has seen its share of grisly massacres too – and Heart Eyes follows in the footsteps of the 1981 classic My Bloody Valentine (plus 3D remake) and much-maligned David Boreanaz slasher film.

Make way for the Heart Eyes Killer (HEK for short) – an emoji-faced cross between Jason Voorhees and My Bloody Valentine’s Harry Warden.

Wasting little time in getting down to business, the story picks up several years into Heart Eyes’ reign of terror – marking the killer’s arrival in Seattle with a brutal act of violence at a local winery. It’s one of the most shocking opening sequences in recent horror history… and immediately paints its villain as one to watch.

But it’s Ally (Olivia Holt) and Jay (Mason Gooding) who had better look out – their aggressive flirting and simmering chemistry painting a clear target on their backs.

Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding star as bickering work rivals Ally and Jay (Picture: Shutterstock)

After an initial meet-cute at a coffee shop, jewelry pitch designer Ally finds herself at loggerheads with suave freelancer Jay, who’s brought in to salvage her latest disastrous ad campaign.

Attracting the attention of the Heart Eyes Killer during a work date, Ally and Jay suddenly face a desperate fight for survival, taking to the streets of Seattle in an attempt to fend off HEK’s murderous advances.

Sure, the cops are on the case, but in typical horror movie style, officers Hobbs and Shaw (really) prove to be more hindrance than help. And with the killer’s pursuit proving relentless, what chance does young love have?

The Heart Eyes Killer has no time for love (Picture: Shutterstock) Ally and Jay face a sleepless night on the streets of Seattle (Picture: Shutterstock)

Directed by Josh Ruben (Werewolves Within, Scare Me), Heart Eyes setsromantic comedy on a collision course with slasher film, with all the accompanying spills and thrills.

If its conceit sounds familiar, that’s because the fingerprints of co-writers Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy are all over this thing. Having collaborated on genre pastiches Happy Death Day, Freaky and It’s a Wonderful Knife, the creators have found great success in mashing up classic movie concepts with modern slasher fare so far.

And, like the aforementioned, Heart Eyes plays on the broader side of the spectrum, the big laughs coming in stark contrast to the gnarly violence and inventive goremaking.

What’s no joke is the chemistry between Holt and Gooding, whose easy charm and charisma wouldn’t be out of place in an actual romantic comedy. You know, the kind without the rampaging slasher villain.

Elsewhere, Jordana Brewster and modern horror icon Devon Sawa (Final Destination/the Chucky TV series) are great fun as the cops attempting to make sense of the situation – with Fast & Furious star Brewster demonstrating some impressive comedy chops as one half of, uh Hobbs & Shaw.

Jordana Brewster and Devon Sawa play officers Hobbs and Shaw (Picture: Shutterstock)

If the pacing suffers from the tug-of-war between romcom and slasher film, at least that means the next big set piece is never far away – and Heart Eyes takes full advantage of its setting, allowing the killer to cut loose across a series of well-deployed backdrops.

Part holiday slasher, part Hallmark romantic comedy, it proudly wears its heart (eyes) on its sleeve – a love letter to two very disparate genres and the conventions therein.

Sadly, Heart Eyes also seems to have picked up some of both genres’ bad habits too, from the uninspiring cinematography to the predictable reveal at the end.

Not a fan of broad romantic comedies or schlocky slasher films? You may find yourself lost in the irony of it all. However, as a hardcore fan of both, this particular critic, die-hard romantic and horror nut couldn’t get enough.

Both sects of faithful should be satiated by the film’s attention to detail, whether its the careful adherence to romcom structure (meet-cute? Check! Airport dash? Check!) or the shocking scenes of gore and violence.

A future slasher icon in the making? (Picture: Shutterstock)

But one has to win out, and by the film’s finale, Heart Eyes enters all-out Scream sequel territory; an ostentatious act of grand guignol that puts Bridesmaids to shame in the level of bodily fluids spilled.

Whether the HEK can succeed where Harry Warden failed (where’s a My Bloody Valentine sequel at?) remains to be seen – but this is a striking debut from a slasher villain with a commanding presence and a fun hook.

Be still my beating heart.

Heart Eyes is out in cinemas now.

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