I was on the Celebrity Traitors roundtable and discovered Claudia Winkleman’s secret
'Doing the Traitors roundtable is more intimidating than I imagined.'
As a Traitors obsessive, there are few things on my bucket list more important than sitting at the very roundtable where Claudia Winkleman has picked her cloaked assassins.
Days after 18 stars — including Sir Stephen Fry, Paloma Faith, Charlotte Church, and Tom Daley — banished one another after hours of tense interrogation on Celebrity Traitors, and just moments before the next batch of civilian contestants entered the castle, I found myself at Ardross Castle in Inverness, at that table.
Seated opposite eight equally anxious players, we were about to enjoy a money-can’t-buy experience — and I felt sick.
Unfortunately for us, there was no money to be won. We weren’t going to leave this table any richer than we were 10 minutes earlier. But walking into the room where Kieran left his infamous ‘parting gift,’ and where Linda gave herself away as a traitor in a matter of seconds, you can almost smell the complicated history — the metaphorical blood spilt from relentless backstabbing.
The space — and the table itself — is so much smaller than it looks on television. At the start of the game, when there are still 22 players, before a single murder or banishment, they must be unbearably close to each other — all while unable to trust a single soul.
And the cameras are so well hidden, despite one staring at you in the face, cleverly disguised in the middle of the table, I would instantly forget they’re there. No wonder the cast got so personal in season three.
‘I learnt what you don’t see behind the scenes while watching The Traitors’ (Picture: Ruth Roxanne Board/Plank PR/Studio Lambert/BBC)To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video
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Previous Page Next PageI thought playing the game would just be some harmless fun; without a prize pot to get ruthless over, surely it would just be a laugh. But the moment I sat down, my blindfold placed before me, I was suddenly racked with nerves. I knew I’d be confronted at some point, the gloves would come off, and I too would have to confront someone — without having anything solid to confront them with.
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It’s a much more intimidating process than I ever imagined — and I didn’t even have anything to lose.
We sit in silence, interrupted only by the odd nervous giggle, until Claudia Winkleman herself strides into the room in a signature woolly jumper — in the middle of summer — and sternly tells us that she is about to pick her traitors.
The blindfolds go on, and suddenly I feel so acutely aware of all my senses, desperate to unlock some sort of superpower that will help me hear or feel a clue as Claudia walks around the room.
‘I tried my best to woo Claudia to make me a Traitor’ (Picture: Ruth Roxanne Board /Plank PR/Studio Lambert/BBC)What you don’t see when Claudia does her walk around the table is that she is periodically galloping like a pony. It was totally unexpected and perfectly captured her wonderfully eccentric commitment to the game.
She is, of course, throwing us all off the scent. Every time I think I can hear or feel the moment she picks her traitor, the thump of her heel is too much of a distraction to get anything concrete.
I wasn’t a traitor. Despite my best efforts to woo Claudia over with my huge woolly cardigan, I didn’t make the cut. I like to think she could sense I was too pure — but realistically, I was probably giving “desperate.”
Three series in, she actually told us players even raise their shoulders, gesturing for her to tap them on it.
After what feels like an hour — but was only five minutes — Claudia orders us to remove the blindfolds and take a good look at each other. But I’m too overwhelmed by how I want to present myself to the others, too busy trying to prove my faithfulness, to really take in who looked the most suspicious.
Anyone fancy a drink? Or to be specific… a fizzy rosé? (Picture: Ruth Roxanne Board/Plank PR/Studio Lambert/BBC) Quelle horreur! (Picture: Ruth Roxanne Board/Plank PR/Studio Lambert/BBC)Claudia then instructs us to go around the table and, in turn, say: ‘I am a faithful.’
After two players take their turn, the third repeats the four words — and I notice a clear change in his voice. I look to my right, and I can tell he knows I’ve got him. I acutely listen to everyone else, and it turns out I do have a sixth sense — an ear for traitors.
As soon as everyone has calmly made their four-word plea, I don’t know what came over me — but I immediately pointed to the player two seats to my left and told the others: ‘It’s him.’
I made my case, which felt much stronger in my head than it did out loud. In reality, I had absolutely no evidence other than: ‘I could just hear it.’
My confidence plummeted. Suddenly, I looked like the most obvious traitor.
Anyone fancy a totally unsuspicious game of badminton? (Picture: Ruth Roxanne Board/Plank PR/Studio Lambert/BBC) The time has come for Celebrity Traitors to bring all the drama (Picture: BBC/PA Wire)I got too cocky — I played an Armani and went in too strong. I’ve never felt ganged up on, but suddenly I was being hit with accusations from every side. Somehow, though, I managed to brush them off. I convinced enough players to go for my suspect and, to my delight, we got him. In a matter of seconds, I had outed the first traitor — and surely, I thought, I’d earned the trust of the other faithfuls.
I was on a roll and determined to get a second. That was much harder. I had nothing else to go on — not even an inkling.
It’s amazing how quickly a gang mentality takes over. One noticeably quiet player suddenly became the second target, and like lions on a gazelle, the rest of us pounced. I’m not proud of my finger-pointing in those moments, and I soon paid the price — we banished a faithful, and the game ended with one traitor remaining.
Had this been the real deal, my completely unwarranted ego would have taken over — and I’d be left betrayed, deluded, and penniless.
Celebrity Traitors launches on Wednesday at 9pm on BBC One and BBC iPlayer.
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