Frankie Bridge was mum-shamed after taking a child-free holiday – so was I
Last year, I booked myself into a Travelodge overnight for a break from family life and was mum-shamed by strangers online.
I’m not surprised that Frankie Bridge has been called ‘selfish’ and ‘the worst parent’ for going on holiday without her kids and husband.
Last year, I booked myself into a Travelodge overnight for a break from family life and was mum-shamed by strangers online.
Other parents told me I was a bad mum and asked why I’d had kids in the first place if I needed to escape them.
But like Frankie, who jetted off last month to Dubai with a friend – which is admittedly a bit more glam than my night in a budget hotel – I think that having some time to myself only makes me a better mum.
Lying on a giant double bed, I spent hours watching Netflix on my laptop, eating snacks, reading my book and best of all: enjoying the silence.
It was a kid-free solo holiday, which meant no demands, no questions about what’s for dinner, no arguments to break up and no small people interrupting my space on the bed to try and snuggle in – pure bliss.
This was a trip just for me… 20 minutes from home at my local Travelodge, costing £39.
I really miss personal space (Picture: Alison Perry)Like most parents – including Frankie Bridge – my life is hectic, juggling my business, writing, and looking after three children.
My 13-year-old needs ferrying to her many dance classes and when I’m not breaking up squabbles between my five-year-old twins, I’m doing the school run, helping them with homework or watching them perform ‘a show’ in the living room.
As any mum or dad will tell you, if small kids could Velcro themselves to you, they would. Don’t get me wrong, I love their cuddles on the sofa after work.
But I also really miss personal space.
Frankie jetted off to Dubai last month (Picture: Wiktor Szymanowicz/Future Publishing via Getty Images)Simple things like being able to go to the loo alone. Not being asked, ‘Where are you going? Can I come?’ every time I dare to move from my position on the sofa, watching Bluey, to make a cup of tea.
It can leave me feeling suffocated.
And that has a knock on effect. It means that rather than cherishing the time I’m spending with my kids, marvelling at how incredible these small humans are, I start to plot ways to create some space between us.
Suddenly, scrubbing the bathroom and tidying the kitchen become ‘essential’ tasks that I tell them Mummy must do right now.
No small people interrupting my space on the bed to try and snuggle in (Picture: Alison Perry) People asked whether my husband minds – he’s the one who gave me the idea (Picture: Alison Perry)I get snappy with them and act a bit like a petulant child who just wants to sit down and finish my coffee, rather than get the Play -Doh and paint out at 6am.
That’s when I know I need a break.
And that’s why I booked into a hotel.
People have asked whether my husband minds, which makes me laugh – he’s the one who gave me the idea!
Two years ago, Mark was a stay-at-home dad and needed a break from the kids, so he booked himself into a hotel. At the time, I was more than happy to send him off for a night away; I knew he needed it and that he’d come back feeling fresh and ready to parent.
Walking back through my front door at home, I felt like I could breathe again (Picture: Alison Perry)Going slightly further afield, he got a bargain room in west London and spent the afternoon watching Formula 1 in peace.
He came back feeling like a new man, so I decided to follow his lead, downloading some episodes of Friends and Gossip Girl on Netflix and packing a small overnight bag with home comforts: my favourite mug, a posh scented candle, my best pyjamas, relaxing tea, snacks and my book
Rather than viewing these nights away as a luxury, Mark and I think they’re essential mental health maintenance.
According to the latest NHS figures, a record number of women are receiving perinatal mental health support and one in five women have a mental health condition.
Taking a break from the physically and mentally demanding job of motherhood is a brilliant way of recharging the battery, allowing us to get stuck back into the job when we’re back at home.
It was such a treat to be able to sleep in (Picture: Alison Perry)And so checking in at the front desk, I was giddy with excitement, if a little embarrassed that the hotel staff could check my address and clock I lived so locally.
It was such a treat to be able to sleep in, rather than my usual morning routine of being woken by the hollering of my twins at 5.30am.
Walking back through my front door at home, I felt like I could breathe again. I was looking forward to seeing my kids rather than wishing I could be somewhere else.
Comment nowHave you ever taken a mini break close to home just to get some peace?Comment NowPutting down my overnight bag at the foot of our stairs, my two youngest children launched themselves at me for cuddles. ‘How was your holiday, Mum?’ one of them asked me.
I told her it was the best. And it was.
That’s why I’m sorry to read that Frankie Bridge received such backlash to her own holiday.
‘They didn’t hurt,’ Frankie said about the comments left on her social media posts, ‘but it just annoyed me that we are still, in 2025, making women feel bad for putting themselves first.’
Frankie is right, of course, and how often do we see dads going on golfing trips with friends, leaving their family at home, with zero criticism being aimed at them?
How is it possible that we still view a mum’s place as being in the home, 24/7, despite everything we know about looking after our mental health?
I have no regrets about my solo holiday from family life. In fact, I’m already planning my next one.
I hope Frankie is doing the same.
How would you spend a solo holiday away from home? Binge-watching Netflix Reading a book Exploring new places Enjoying the silence and peace Share on FacebookShare your results Share on XTweet your resultsA version of this article was published March 3, 2024
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