How I solved my mid-life gaming crisis with retro games – Reader’s Feature

A reader reveals how his attempt to reignite his passion for video games has stalled because so many arcade games are hard to replicated 100% on consoles.

Five years ago, I wrote a feature with regards to my upcoming 50th birthday and how I solved the problem of reliving my youth by revisiting the classics using my PlayStation 3 and saving money on buying a cabinet or exploring the grey depths of emulation.

As I now rapidly approach my 55th birthday, the major downfall with my solution is that some of the classics just cannot be replicated and give me that same rush of nostalgia through my trusty old PlayStation 3.

That problem is that using the PlayStation 3 DualShock, or plugging my Mayflash Arcade stick into the console, fails to give the same experience as being in the arcade, due to some of the unique controller devices used to play many of the retro arcade games. So I made a list of all the games that cannot be emulated perfectly on a console:

Operation Wolf
Walking into an arcade and seeing this huge cabinet, with a mounted Uzi, for the first time in 1987 made this this is a must-play. Before games like Time Crisis and Virtua Cop, this early lightgun game, with the addition of a side button for grenades, was superb.

Sea Wolf
One of the first arcade titles I remember with a bespoke controller method was released in 1976. Players use a mounted periscope to pilot a submarine using side buttons to launch torpedoes at enemy vessels under the added pressure of a timer.

Dance Dance Revolution
Never really appealed to me as a player, but on its release in 1999 I always enjoyed watching others with much better coordination than myself. Yes, you can buy a mat for it at home, but it’s slippy and dodgy, and nothing can replace the full two-player cabinet with barriers to lean on.

Silent Scope
Using a mounted rifle, players need to physically change their position to allow a zoomed in view of a small portion of the screen from the sights. With the genius addition of night vision scopes this was guaranteed to cost me a fortune.

Golden Tee Golf
Trackballs were not unique to arcade games, on this title’s release in 1989, but what a superb addition using a trackball makes to arcade golf. You can buy this if you are lucky enough to find it as a Plug and Play title, but it still does not feel quite the same.

Spy Hunter
Many arcade games had fitted steering wheels to allow players to feel more immersed in a game, but Spy Hunter requires well-timed gear changes, smoke shield, oil spills, and missiles – without the best wheel made you would never make it to the boathouse!

Paperboy
This was released on many home systems including my beloved Commodore 64, but it will never replicate playing an arcade machine fitted with an actual bicycle handlebar; a game where you deliver papers with this controller should never have worked, but it was an absolute classic.

Tempest
One of the greatest arcade titles ever created. One of the first titles to use vector graphics, this must be played with the rotating controller to be truly appreciated.

Battlezone
One of the first truly 3D arcade games, using vector graphics, players hunt down enemy tanks and saucers using two controllers and a periscope – tough game even by 1980s standards.

This is by no means an exhaustive list and I look forward to being reminded of some blatant titles I have missed in the comments section!

As for many, the last few years have been tough, and I have felt myself going wibble and battling mental health issues. To this end I would like to thank Mrs Bullman for being there for me for nearly 35 years, don’t know what I would do without her.

She has gone above and beyond for my birthday this year and purchased me one glaring emission from the above titles:

The original vector graphics Atari Star Wars.

The 40th anniversary Arcade1Up is currently reduced on Amazon, and we will be building it tonight with a beer or two.

This includes The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi; all of these can be played legally through Antstream, but it just never feels right without the classic yolk.

Thank you for all your outstanding reviews, features, and everyone’s Inbox contributions.

Hopefully I will still be married after we put this thing together!

By reader Jowbullman (PSN ID)

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