00s horror slasher Valentine got everything right – except this

David Boreanaz and Marley Shelton starred in the chilling slasher Valentine (Picture: Warner Bros.)

I have my local Blockbuster to thank for my discovery of the 2001 horror slasher Valentine. 

It was one of those films I should never have discovered but my horror spidey senses knew it needed to be unearthed. And the day that I learned I wasn’t alone in my love for Valentine was a good day. 

Dozens of Reddit threads have been dedicated to highlighting how fun this silly yet thrilling horror whodunnit is and talking about the exceptionally star-studded noughties cast which is topped by David Boreanaz, Denise Richards and Katherine Heigl who were, oh, just some of the biggest Hollywood stars of the era. 

However, while the glittery cast is the main thing Valentine fans are quick to point out on subreddits, there’s actually so much more to this slasher than some may give credit for. 

Directed by Jamie Blanks, Valentine follows a group of young friends who have known each other since childhood and face their biggest challenge when a Cupid-masked serial killer begins targeting their group (with threatening Valentine’s Day gifts, hence the title). 

However, the root of the story goes back to their early days in high school, when a young boy named Jeremy is accused of sexually assaulting Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw) who, along with her friends, cruelly rejects him. Years later, when the friendship group starts getting killed off, they have to consider whether their childhood actions are to blame or if someone in their later life has developed a vendetta.

As far as your typical serial killer slashers go, Valentine checks all the boxes. 

Heart-stopping chase scenes, creative kills, a very creepy killer dressed in the obligatory black coat with a cherub-cheeked Cupid mask, a set of attractive youngsters, a side story romance and a spine-tingling twist; it delivers on all fronts. 

Valentine will always have one of the creepiest twists for me; a fake-out reveal at the end exposes Dorothy – who accused Jeremy of the sexual assault – as the killer but, moments before the credits roll, Adam (Boreanaz) gets a nosebleed, a trait of the killer, revealing him as the real Cupid before the screen cuts to black. 

Denise Richards’ terrifying hot tub scene is iconic (Picture: Rex Features) Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw) was frankly insufferable (Picture: Rex Features) The friendship group made a terrible decision in their childhood that came back to haunt them (Picture: Rex Features) Cupid sends his love (Picture: Rex Features)

Adam was actually the real Jeremy Melton, who sought out the group to enact revenge serving as the perfect payoff for the viewer. 

However, where my issue lies is in the character development of the friendship group – the majority of them are insufferable. Sure, Adam aka Jeremy isn’t exactly a stand-up guy being a serial killer and everything, but it’s so hard to root for the friends completely when they made up such a horrendous lie and essentially ruined his childhood. 

The cast did a brilliant job but the characters weren’t the most likeable – Dorothy was a bad friend with deep unhealed trauma whose false sexual assault accusation led to Jeremy being sectioned in a mental health unit. 

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It just doesn’t sit right that, after all of that, I kind of see why Adam/Jeremy lost his mind and felt incensed to get revenge. You ruin my life, I’ll ruin yours – fair enough! 

The only redeeming friend was Kate (Marley Shelton) who was so polite in her rejection of Jeremy all those years ago, and so he spared her (he did also become her boyfriend under false pretences as Adam). You don’t always have to root for all of the victims in a horror film but it’s just a slight disappointment that, aside from Kate, they all kind of got what they deserved. 

Fortunately, it doesn’t detract from the fact that Valentine is a perfectly thrilling slasher that has aged pretty well considering some of the turkeys that have been churned out over the years. 

The 11% rating it has on Rotten Tomatoes is frankly a real injustice. 

Valentine is available to buy and rent on Amazon Prime Video, YouTube and AppleTV+.

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